Kaffy opens up on mother’s shocking allegation

Renowned Nigerian dancer and choreographer, Kafayat Oluwatoyin Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, has opened up about a painful childhood experience that left lasting scars on her mental and emotional well-being.

In a revealing conversation on The Honest Bunch podcast, the 44-year-old dance coach narrated how her mother accused her of being romantically involved with one of her boyfriends when she was just 13 years old.

According to Kaffy, her parents’ divorce exposed her to difficult childhood realities.

After the separation, her mother dated several men, and Kaffy alongside her siblings often referred to them as “daddies” in an attempt to fill the emotional void left by their absent father.

However, she said her mother’s insecurity created constant suspicion about the closeness between her children and the men she was dating.

“I was 13 when my mother started suspecting me with her own men,” Kaffy recalled.

“She had different boyfriends after her divorce, and because we were missing that father figure, we called them daddies.

The closer you were to them, the more insecure she became.”



The award-winning dancer recounted one particularly traumatic incident where her mother humiliated her in front of a man she considered a father figure.

Kaffy explained that the man had accidentally cut himself while shaving, and she had innocently tried to help by cleaning the blood. Unfortunately, her mother misinterpreted the scene.

“One day, I tried to help ‘daddy’ clean blood from his face after he cut himself shaving. My mother walked in, misunderstood what was happening, and accused me of having an affair with him.

She stripped me naked in our living room and flogged me in front of everyone,” she said.



Kaffy revealed that the experience left her deeply traumatized and created a cycle of insecurity that affected her self-perception for years.

“It had its own traumatizing effect. I kept asking myself—why would my mother think that of me, her daughter? That’s how insecurity transfers from parent to child.

It was subliminal, but it had long-lasting effects,” she added.



Despite the emotional scars, Kaffy said the incident shaped her resilience and determination to break free from toxic patterns of emotional abuse and blackmail.

She emphasized that her struggles became a source of strength, pushing her to build a successful career as Nigeria’s foremost female dance professional.

Today, Kaffy is celebrated not just for her contributions to dance but also for her courage in using her platform to raise awareness about childhood trauma, mental health, and the need for healthier family relationships.

Her story has sparked conversations about the dangers of projecting insecurities onto children and the lasting consequences of emotional and physical abuse within families.